Psalm 13

I used to go to church with the idea of fixing someone else and not myself! But once I figured out that I can’t fix anyone only God is able to change people through His Grace and His Word. I found that I need to grow in Christ as a disciple of His to change and change my circumstances. I am His work in progress, always. Because of that I am actually His vessel at work in my world! I am His Light to others so He can show them His Love and His gift of Grace through The Cross! So now when I go to church I focus on me not on someone else! How can I be of purpose in God’s Kingdom as I walk my journey. So as I went to church this last Sunday the message was on Rejoicing in Lament by Dr. Jeff Cook.

The last few years I have had many moments of Lamenting! Actually Lamenting is a good thing! Reading God’s Word, I found many times over and over again the people of the Bible were lamenting. Lamenting over their sin, murder, disobedience, following God’s laws, wars, jealousy, injustices, famine, whining, enemies. disease, death and so on! The happenings of this world by humanity! This world is temporary and we are His people with a spirit soul and He breathed life into us to journey here for His purpose. We sure don’t understand what goes about. It makes us hurt, care, be angry, disappointed, love, sad, depressed, discontented, etc. all those emotions and more. Sometimes it definitely is a roller coaster ride. But I know my God is in control. Yes He allows many things to happened that we don’t understand. But we are not God. So my anchor is God and His Promises to me in Christ so I can be of a purpose in this world I live in. Boy there are many times I would just like to cover up my head and lament and say woe is me. And I do but I don’t stay in that place, I look for answers. So I call out to God and pray. I arm myself in His presence and His Word.

I can only change my life! It is the choices and decisions I make in the circumstances of my life that make me who I am today. Long time ago I chose to follow and believe in who Christ is and what He did on the Cross for me. I sure didn’t understand what all that meant! So there have been many a time I have lamented over the choices I have made. The decisions I made. Whining about the life I had. Lamenting over my children as young people the life choices they made. Lamented over the wars I have seen. The people I have hurt some intentionally and some accidentally. How I have talked and treated someone. Lamented over deaths that were horrific. So many events in my life that I was touched by that I wonder where is my God! My God is a Perfect God and He is my Good Father! He equips me for every event in my life! Makes my imperfections and mistakes into something good for His Glory and Honor! For me to share those experiences with others, in order for God to work in their lives!

Just in last 2 year, I have had to let go of my husband who was my life. We had a home together for 20 years. Then I lost my youngest brother to cancer. My Dad in that time period had double by pass heart surgery. So I greet a new year, my Dad healed. I am healing from the pain of losing those to death. These deaths brought new live into relationships. I know where both are living with their Lord and Savior. Still makes it hard but God gives you comforting words. He gives me peace. He prepares me. He sustains me. He gives me knew hopes and dreams. He participates in my life so He guides me and leads me to new place so I can start over. He strengthens me with others. They tell me how much they love me. That they are praying for me and encouraging me.

My family has drawn closer to me. So we celebrate as a family with events to share our love and strengthen our relationships to be there for one another. Even friends we draw closer to one another and find special times with each other. Have sounding boards for decisions. Good things happen even through all the grieve and struggles. So I lament as to what now!What do I do now that I am alone, caring for myself. So God gives me an answer. Move. So I plan. I move. New beginnings, relationships, community, church, work, everything is going to be new to me. Am I ready! I grieve over leaving but it is ok!

I make my plans, I move. It was all by Faith, not as I planned but as God planned! Settled in! It was great, but I sure did have to pray and trust God in everything. He keeps His promises. Then I lamented over being alone. So I looked on line. Oh my goodness, what an experience that was. I thought every thing was lining up then evil lifted its head and I learned a lesson that I need to trust God for a new partner. He knows my heart so when God thinks I am ready for a partner He will let that person enter into my life in His time not mine. He told me to keep my focus on Him. He has taught me as a good father to be wise and steady in His plan for me.

Renting my home out was a big challenge in the logistics of moving. That failed 2 times. The first time was in the dead of winter! I am living now 8 hours away. Plus my hours were cut back, I have no money. Plus my roommate needed me to find a new place to live and I was having health troubles. And I was looking for a better job. I had fabulous prayer warriors. Things straightened out within a month. I couldn’t of done it on my own. God put everything and everyone in place at the right time. Remember God leads and guides as He speaks through events and people. He works through us. So I have new renters who clean up the mess made by the last. I found a place through a friend. God knew it would be perfect for me and my puppies. He found opened up a job for me. He really had to shout to me “get an application”. If I wouldn’t of listened….anyway I listened. But before the summer was out my renters had to leave for financial reasons. Quick trip back home, signed with my realtor friend to sell my property. It sold within a week, so paid all my debts.

God is always in the details. But He works through His people. Trust and obey. Listen and be full of Faith that which He has given you. Time to get my health check up. Not only a falling bladder but uterine cancer. Oh my goodness didn’t want to hear that word again in my life. The doctor said all will be fine just need a hysterectomy. Not… go back for my post op check up, I have second state cervical cancer! I started crying! I couldn’t talk. My daughter was there. I was so thankful that our relationship was healing that she could be there with me. I heard the chemo word again and radiation! It was horrifying! Had to have a petscan to see if it had spread anywhere else. I was thinking was this my time. Was this the end of my journey? I lamented. Woe is me. I am not ready to see your Glory. Then I ask myself “Why not”? Shouldn’t I be rejoicing!! My God knows me so well! He has assured me His Will will be done and in His time, I just have to trust in Him. He keeps His promises if I live or die. I just need to be His Light and His servant as I walk on His creation. I need to live in His abundant life and not measure it by years. I need to repent and to turn to God in all things and events in my life. I am here to share my story everyday. God uses my life to change other peoples lives. When He says to Pray..pray unceasingly. When he says surrender your all.. surrender. When He says to draw close to Him He will reveal Himself to you. Get to know your God through His Son Jesus Christ and let His Spirit live in you. So when your certainty is challenged go to Him and lament. He will answer and be there, He will never leave you.  He so wants to empower you with purpose and a plan for your life and it will be abundant!  He doesn’t always remove the mountains as we plan because He Knows all. He will give you all you need and more plus bring you to a place of rejoicing and rest.  He works in our strengths and weaknesses. He goes before us. He prepares us! He keeps all His promises. This world is not perfect but He is. Lean on His understanding. Sometimes the plan isn’t clear and we have to Trust and Obey. He fits us up like soldiers to do battle. He will never let you go. Read His Word and Pray. He carries us through with our loved ones about us. If my journey is up, death will be my victory because I will be home forever. I will have Joy! Everlasting!

Lauren Daigle is a new singer artist. The song O’Lord reveals so much truth.


Though times it seems
Like I’m coming undone
This walk can often feel lonely
No matter what until this race is won
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
Oh, O’Lord O’Lord I know You hear my cry
Your love is lifting me above all the lies
No matter what I face this I know in time
You’ll take all that is wrong and make it right
You’ll take all that is wrong and make it right
Your strength is found
At the end of my road
Your grace it reaches to the hurting
Still through the tears and the questioning why
I will stand my ground where hope can be found
I will stand my ground where hope can be found




One response to “Lament”

  1. Chi Chi's Chick Avatar
    Chi Chi’s Chick

    Keep on writing ! counting down only 2 more and u’ve got thi!


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